Diary Entry – 19 March 2021
Shaming – when someone communicates how they think you should be\how you should live your life.
A line from ‘The Self Love Fix’ podcast and I’m shocked to discover that I was shamed too. She mentioned a few examples that stood out to me;
Being told/asked why you don’t do better on your report in school and how that leads to seeking approval in the work place.
Being told you can never be a leader and it makes you avoid situations in which you could be a leader.
When you are told something so many times that you start to believe it (If you are not aware of who you are outside of what people say).
Damn. Every day I learn how toxic my family actually is. I’m glad I spotted it. I’m unlearning every day.
I too was shamed.
I don’t remember my aunt or cousins being proud of my work at school. In fact, I remember changing the marks on my primary school reports to avoid being feeling worthless through their comments. I never received encouragement or help actually. I was always told I was lazy whether it was about house chores or school work.
When I got my first job and my boss always boasted about how hard I worked, I was shocked. That definitely helped me gain a bit more confidence about my work ethic but not enough because I was still seeking her approval, and the approval of my other bosses even though I knew they were content about my work.
My family made me feel like I was lazy and would never be good enough. Thank God for my friends and colleagues. That job made me realize that I’m not those things.
Theheartofaconqueror 